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Sunday, December 8, 2019

More Randomness

By: Budopey

i'll drink everyones beer smoke everyones weed you got more money on my action kid thats what i need lets get high and multiply spreads them thighs hunny thats what gets me high you think you fly with the past bullshit kid let that fly learn to drop that shit and proceed to get lit and talk more shi...

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The Queen's Gambit - Chapter 1 by Mark Lime

Written by: Mark Lime
Submitted on: 2009/11/12
Rating: 0/5 with 2513 views

I was enjoying my day home from work in front of my computer.  Outside was extremely rainy.  It had been raining for three days non-stop.  The backyard of my three-bedroom house was starting to flood again.  It always seemed to flood in this neighborhood when it rained for long periods at a time.  The dreary weather did not bother me though.  I did not like going outside much.  I preferred sitting indoors, where the bugs could not find me.  Sure, I had computer bugs too, but I could deal with them.  What I could not deal with, were blood-sucking insects digging their miniature syringes into me and sucking out all of my fluids. I was about to beat my opponent in internet speed chess when the power went out.  "Damnit!" I shouted to no one.  When I tried to use the telephone in the kitchen, all I heard was silence.  I repeatedly tried hanging up the phone and wiggling the wires, but still there was no dial tone. What the fuck? Phones usually work in power outages.  I went to my bedroom to grab my cellular phone off of the charger, but it wasn't there.  I had forgotten to plug it in the night before, after drinking heavily with some friends.  I picked up the pants I was wearing the night before and searched the pockets.  The last pocket I tried, I found my phone.  The battery was still halfway charged, according to the screen, which was not always accurate.  Should last until the power comes back on anyhow.  Boy was I wrong.  If I knew what was in store for me, I most likely would have not been so optimistic. I tried calling people to see if they lost power as well, but my cellular phone wasn't working either.  What the hell?  This reminded me of the blackout that occurred when I was younger.  As soon as I set my cell phone on my dresser, it began to ring.  I looked at the screen and saw it was Chuck calling.  "Hello?" I answered "You lose power at all?" Chuck asked me. "Yeah," I replied.  "And my phone is off too." "How am I talking to you then?" Chuck asked me while laughing. "I meant my house phone isn't working" I replied.  "My cell phone wasn't working a second ago when I tried making outgoing calls though." "Strange," Chuck answered. "Yeah.  So what are you up to?" "Nothing now," Chuck said.  "I was playing some video games until the power went out.  You want to come over and play some chess or something? I'm bored." "How about you come over here instead?" I offered him.  "I can't stand your thirty cats.  They make me break out in hives." "Ok fine," Chuck answered.  "I'll be over in ten minutes." "Cool, I'll see you then," I told him and then hung up my phone.  As I looked at my phone I realized it was almost dead from talking for two minutes.  Goddamn cheap phones.  I went to the bathroom to take a shower before my friend arrived.  The hot water was non-existent, so I took a cold shower as long as I could handle it.  When I was finished dressing, I went out to my front living room to wait for Chuck.  The rain was still falling heavily outside.  I walked to the back window and peered into my backyard.  The flooding was getting worse and worse.  I suspected it would take weeks to dry up and figured the water would become stagnant by then and smell horrible. A few moments later, Chuck pulled up in his junky station wagon.  "What's going on?" I greeted him as he approached my front door. "The rain is really coming down now," he said while rushing to the shelter of my front porch.  "You ready to get your ass kicked?" "You know I always beat you," I told him. "I have been practicing on the internet," Chuck said.  "So don't underestimate me." I set the chess board up on a card table in the front room.  The first two games, I beat chuck in less than ten moves, and by the fourth game, he was starting to catch on to my techniques. "You are not going to get me as easy this time," he told me. "Yeah, you seem to be getting better," I told him.  Chuck was now countering all of my moves.  I was glad he was learning my plan of attack because I enjoy a challenge. I heard loud a loud knocking on my front door.  "I wonder who that could be," I said to Chuck. I stood up from the game and began to walk to the front door.  "You better not be cheating when I am gone," I told Chuck.  "I have photographic memory and the position of every piece is burnt into my brain." "You know I would never do that," Chuck replied defensively. "Yeah, yeah," I said as I walked to the front door and looked through the peephole.  My friend Jimmy and his girlfriend Lucia were both standing on the front porch. "How's it going you two?" I asked the couple after I opened the door. "Pissed off," Jimmy said.  "Me and Lucia were just about to make some dinner when the power went out.  I am starving!  I knew we should have gotten a gas stove instead of an electric one." "I think the gas is out too," I informed them.  "I tried taking a shower, but there was no hot water." "Very strange," Lucia replied.  "I wonder what is going on." "I have no clue," I told them.  "I'm sure the power will be on soon enough.  But hey, I'm in the middle of a chess game with Chuck in the other room, and I better get back to it before he starts moving the pieces around." "Oh Chuck is here?" Jimmy asked.  "I haven't seen him in forever." "We just went out with him last night," I told Jimmy. "Did we?" Jimmy asked in a non-believing tone. "Yeah we all went to the bar to see that crappy band play," I reminded him. "Damn," Jimmy replied.  "I really should not drink so much at a time.  Did I do anything stupid?" "Besides getting us kicked out for taking off all of your clothes and trying to hump the waitress?"  I asked him. "Did I really?" Jimmy asked, sounding shocked. "Nah, I'm just messing with you," I said while laughing.  "You were fine other than puking out my window on the way home.  Luckily it has been raining and washed off all the chunks." "Oh sorry man," Jimmy replied.  "I would feel so bad about it, but I can't remember doing it." "I know how that is," I told him as I walked back into the connecting room to finish up my game of chess.  "I think I have some charcoal in the shed out back, and we can barbecue on the back porch when this game is over." "Sounds like a plan," Jimmy said happily. I sat back down at the chess table and made my move. "Feeling better today it looks like," Chuck said to Jimmy. "Yeah but I can't remember anything," Jimmy replied. "How drunk you were last night, I am surprised you can even remember your name," Jimmy told him. The two of them talked some more while I thought of my next move.  I noticed a spot Chuck had left unguarded and moved my bishop.  Chuck moved his pawn up two squares, doing nothing to stop my attack.  I moved my queen into position and told Chuck, "Checkmate." "How in the hell?" he asked. "You opened yourself up too early," I told him. "Yeah I guess I did," He replied.  "I'm finished getting my ass beat for today." "Wise choice," I told him as I packed the chessboard and pieces back into the box. "You have a battery powered radio?" Lucia asked me. "Nope," I replied.  "But I think I have a crank powered one in the attic somewhere.  Want me to go look for it?" "Yes please," Lucia answered.  "It's too quiet around here." "No problem," I said.  "You guys want to go get the barbecue out of the shed while I am up their looking?" "Yeah no problem," Chuck said as he headed towards the back door. I proceeded into the attic.  That was the first time I had ventured up their in the last six months.  I kept a lot of stuff up there I didn't use anymore.  Old photo albums, baseball cards, comic books, unopened action figures, and a bunch of other stuff. As I entered the musty hot attic, I caught a whiff of something rotting.  Must be a dead squirrel.  Somehow squirrels always got into my attic even though I never found any entrances for them.  After I dug through an old box of electronic gadgets, I finally found what I was looking for.   I grabbed the radio  and hurried down the stairs, trying to escape the horrible smell that was about to make me puke everywhere. I closed the attic door and joined my friends on the back porch.  Jimmy was spraying insane amounts of lighter fluid on the charcoal. "Not so much man!" I told him.  "That isn't normal charcoal.  You only need a little bit of lighter fluid." "Yeah I know," Jimmy said.  "but your shed is flooded and your charcoal is all wet." "Oh damn," I said as I handed Lucia the radio.  Lucia cranked the radio until it could crank no more.  Deranged ice cream truck music poured out of the speakers. "Change the channel," Jimmy muttered as he threw a match into the charcoal.  "That music is going to drive me insane."   Lucia rotated the dial across the band, but every station was playing the same strange music. "What the hell?" Lucia asked.  "You sure this isn't a kid's toy Mike?" "Yeah I am sure," I replied.  "I used it in the blackout a few years back and I listened to the hard rock station.  "Well it isn't playing hard rock now.  This music is going to give me bad dreams." Lucia said as she handed the radio back to me.  I fiddled with the dial and scanned through all of the AM and FM station with the same result.  "What the hell?" I said.   "You get this thing at the toy store or something?" Chuck asked. "No man," I said, getting aggravated.  "I already told you this isn't a toy."  The weird music was starting to give me chills so I threw the radio against the concrete steps.  The radio exploded into a million pieces.  "Oh that was good," Jimmy said.  "Smash the only working radio in the middle of a blackout." "It's my fucking radio," I said as I walked back into the house to grab some dead animals to devour.  I had a very strange feeling just then.  The music that was playing made me feel a deep chill in my bones, and slightly insane.  Smashing the radio, brought me back to reality and made the weird feelings go away.  I honestly still do not know why I chose to break it instead of simply switching it off, but it doesn't really matter anyways.  I grabbed four steaks out of the basement freezer and went back to the barbecue.  "Sorry about this guys," I told my friends as I dropped the frozen meat onto the table.  "It's going to take a while for these to cook, they are still frozen solid." "No biggie," Chuck said.  "I don't have anything to do today. "Yeah us either," Lucia said. "That makes four of us," I added. Chuck slapped the frozen steaks onto the grill.  "This is going to be so good," he said.  "I'm starving." "I am going to go see if we can pick up some news on the car stereo.  You want to come with?" Lucia asked her boyfriend. "Sure," he replied and then walked back into my house.  Me and Chuck talked about sports and politics while the steaks began to sizzle on the grill.  Moments later, the couple came back into the house with puzzled looks on their faces. "What's the matter?" I asked them.  "Well," Jimmy answered.  "I guess you didn't have a kids radio after all." "What are you talking about?" I asked. "The radio in my car played the same weird ice cream truck music."

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